The World According to Colin

My Worst Review on TripAdvisor - The Real Story

It has now been 8 years since we rented our first room at Banana Azul.  Having built the place from the ground up, without having any experience whatsover in building or hospitality management, in a foreign developing country where they speak a different language has been (putting it mildly) quite an education.

One thing however, I did learn fast very early on was the power of TripAdvisor and the impact it would play in my success or failure.  I tried to explain this to other accomodation places in the area and they somehow felt because of their location and smal place, that these types of things dont apply to them.  I knew that not only did it apply at that time (2006) that they can not even begin to imagine what is coming down the pipe with review sites.  The future was very clear to me.

The reason I decided to write about this review is because many clients always tell me they read the bad reviews first and then they read some of the good ones.  So, while I was bored in Thailand one day at the Fat Farm between colemics, I was reading my bad reviews.

In hindsight some of them are quite funny.  However at the time when you are dealing with a very upset customer, I can assure you it is anything but fun.  And now adays its standard protocol for hotel guests to say "Give me what I want, or I will write a bad review on TripAdvisor."  

This threat used to make me tremble.  But I realized they will do it anyway and if I had the choice, I dont want them back and if they have any friends, I am sure I would not like them as guests either.  So I just tell them to do whatever it is they feel they need to do if I can not succeed at trying to accomodate them.

This review, is one I remember vividly.  It happened in 2008 and and then it took her 1 year to write the review.

If interested; read the review and then read my response.  What readers dont know... is What is the real story as there are so many things that we as an InnKeeper are not allowed to say.  So, a client can say that I broke into her safe, but all I can do is deny it.  But I can not say that she was drunk the whole stay and fighting with her new husband on their honeymoon.  Apparently that is a personal attack ???

Now, the real story is the poor guy that just tied the knot looked like he wanted to commit suicide, but we only had a 2 story building.  Personally, I would have leaned toward homicide versus suicide.

So why a year later?  I asked a girl friend of mine and she said that she was most likely thrown out of a moving vehicle and never saw her husband again.  Then a year later after 2 rehab centers, she is drunk blogging and looking for people to blame and take down.

What are your thoughts?  You might note her user name... 

 

Change is Coming to Playa Negra

Torrential rains, 6 months of construction, landscape architects, truck loads of plants and mature trees, tons of cement and a wheel barrel full of cash, the long awaited pool is coming to Banana Azul.

The word is getting out even though I have not published it anywhere, we have many guests writing in asking when it is going to be open.  Anyone that knows anything in Costa Rica, knows that is a question that you never ask.

Here are some pics that a customer too as we were installing 10 year old royal palms.

I think in 5 years living here, that is the second time I picked up a shovel.

In Costa Rica... People are very good at watching work being done.  It always seems that at least 50% watch while the other half works.  Most times they trade off at some point.

I know it looks like something out of the Flintstones, but I promise it will be pretty.  You know us homos.... We came.  We saw.  We decorated.

Is the Yoga Instructor the new Real Estate Agent?

I recently received an email from a woman with a child wanting to move and work here. She said she was currently "land locked in Texas" and looking to escape.  She went on further to tell me she was a yoga instructor from Big Island of Hawaii and also is a career bartender.

Now, correct me if I am wrong?  But is not Yoga for people who are trying to get more in touch and connected with themselves?  If so, why would they teach that by day and then help people abandon themselves in the evening with drinking?  Yoga Instructors and Massage Therapists are abound here. 

The more I thought about this... It made me think of one of the so-called yoga instructors down here who in between cigarettes, junk foo, an IV of morning coffee and vino noche said on more then one occasion said that "I was the tightest person she ever met". 

Now, I will be the first to admit that I am no Gandhi and far from it. But being an ex smoker of 13 years, I was wondering just how "tight" she would be in 48 hours if we started removing all of her vices starting with the cigarettes?  All I could see was a modern day version of Linda Blair from The Excorsist.

All this hipocracy (as I see it) reminds me of the using days of drugs and alcohol.  I was hooked on everything including anything that I thought would fix my life.  On a good day I would do things like go to the gym reeking of cigarette smoke and not stay over 30 minutes, because of nicotine withdrawal.

The next month, if it was not a new self-help book, a yoga class or a steady diet of afternoon Oprah (while drinking red wine), my life was going to hell in a hand basket.

Maturity does seem to take some of the fun out of living.  Maybe the old saying "Ignorance is Bliss" has some truth to it.

What is an Enviromentalist

One thing that has always perplexed me in life is non-logical thinking and downright hypocrisy.  I thought there was enough of that in North American society, however it seems to be extreme here and not limited to the locals.

Some of the most bizarre cases I have experienced are from ex-pats that claim to be environmentalists on varying self-described spiritual paths. 

We have a neighbour that has gone absolutely ballistic to the point of calling all sorts of government agencies for locals cutting down trees on their property.  On numerous attempts they have tried to enlist my support to stop this or at least validate their actions, but to no avail.

They said they would have never bought their house had they known that the trees in the neighbours property were going to be cut down.  It does not seem to concern them whatsoever that the 1/2 acre plus lot that they enjoy is almost completely cleared of trees to allow for the building of their house and security of not having one fall on them.

On different occasions I have casually mentioned this fact and in an indirect way - it was made clear they were not interested in this and somehow I don't have any concern for the environment.

These obvious self-serving motives do not stop at the trees.  The biggest debate going on in this area, tends to be the proposal for building a marina.  The subject has bought out fierce emotions from both sides. 

Again, numerous attempts have been made to enlist my support in the anti-marina coalition under the environmentalism banner.  First of all... let the record show that I can not think of anyone that is more opposed to the marina then me.  I feel it will ruin the natural paradise of the area and the yachting set is not exactly who I yearn to have lunch with.  I will dine with the hippie potsmoker anyday.

However, I feel this choice is not up to me.  I do not worry about having a job.  I do not worry about my financial future.  I have no kids to feed.  I feel in a very privileged situation.

Not only that... I am from the beautiful waterfront city of Vancouver, BC.  I can not imagine having city council meetings about waterfront development that was stacked with non-residents of the country that merely had real estate holdings or held mere residential status in the country.  I am sure the the meetings would be for citizens only and any other participation from outside would not be welcome.

So, just where do we get off marching around the world deciding how everyone else should develop their country and we clearly benefited from developing ours with little or no regard for enviromental impact.

Colinsito reporting live from The Home of The Least Wanted or The Most Wanted.

First World Schocker!

Owning a hotel in a place like Costa Rica gets kind of scary when your largest market starts to have financial problems.  One of the big wild cards in all this game is the US tourist market.  But so far, it seems to be holding even though evidence of financial meltdown is in the air. 

I was just in a hotel in San Jose and met 2 gay guys (separate travellers) that changed destinations from Europe to CR because of cost.  You know the economy is bad when even the freshly 'fake n baked' homos are cutting back.

So, welcome to the reality of first world living.  I am back in Canada for a couple weeks visiting family and friends.  I needed a reminder me why I had to make so much money to live before I left to Costa Rica. 

I was at San Jose airport and bought an Economist Magazine.  It was $10.75 and the bag of chips I bought was $3.25. I am surprised that they did not have to board me in a wheel chair after that sticker shock.  I guess I was spared because I passed on the soft drink and the 20 measily chips in the puffy bag were organic.

Too funny... Last night I went out with friends to a nice classy lounge.  I bought the first round of drinks.  Almost $100 for 7 people. (includes tax and tip).  $100 was all I had.  Thank God, I am an recovering alcoholic and bought just a soda.  It was all I could afford.  At least it was in a classy place.

I noticed that the price of beer was $6 (before tip).  And to think I was agonizing 2 weeks ago for raising our beer price at the hotel from $1.80 to $2.25. Would our guests feel I was gouging?  It is such a price difference from drinking on the steps of the corner store where the locals and budget-minded expats drink and enjoy beer for just over $1.  I had to remind myself that a clean glass with ice served by a sexy latino bartender, does not come cheap.  (Maybe we could charge more if I had him take his shirt off?)

Then the taxi ride home ($8 - no tip. who could afford it?), I had to stop off at bank machine to get money, only to have my card refused.  (They assured me it was international. I should have known better).  So I had to wake up my house hosts to borrow money to pay the cab driver. 

Now, that is not classy.